An Abundance of Authorial Abhorrent Actions

That title is literally the best thing I have ever come up with. I’m #proud of my self.

So because Camp Nano is coming up and I have like zero ideas for my story I decided to put out whatever the heck I’m writing onto the world wide web (so maybe you guys can help me??? Maybe???)

I am like the worst writer ever. I get inspiration like once every eight months and then I delete everything I wrote the next month because I hate it. The cycle repeats.

It is exhausting.

BUT recently I wrote some stuff (with my dear May as a beta) and I decided to share it with you guys to get some #feedback (but also so I can start complaining about writing things. Even though I’m not really a writer. But still.)

 

the story

Because I don’t believe in outlining, I never have the plot of anything I’m writing ever. But due to several posts talking about how useful outlining is, I caved and created an outline for my story *gasp*

Yep, that is my very cringy outline. Basically this is a weird murder mystery coming of age thing, I don’t really know *shrugs aggressively*

The ironic thing is that I have the very dramatic heartbreaking ending part all plotted out (and semi-written).

So basically the story is just going to follow these five characters as they try to figure out who the murderer is while confronting their own pasts and growing as individuals and as a group.

(I should sell this to a publishing company because #friendship sells)

But seriously that is the entire plot. I’m trying to do a character based novel with some interesting things but it’s not working and I’m crying and I just.

the characters

The characters are the best part of the story for me. I spend forever creating characters, writing backstories for them (even when they don’t even have a real story to belong to 😦  )

Here are my beautiful children that I love and have a more complex backstory than my entire story 😦

• Allison Demeris (aka the only person with a last name because her name is beautiful)
  • She is willing to fight everyone, all the time.
  • She is frequently seen in fishnets and leather jackets
  • She doesn’t have a traumatic backstory™ so she would die for both Sienna and Faye and is like their guardian angel.
  • She’s dyslexic and so she struggles in school and people bully her for it and it’s sad 😥
  • Her main place in the story is literally to fight everyone. That’s it.
• Faye
  • I’ve actually had this character since I was like in 4th grade so I’m emotionally attached to her.
  • She is the best. She is just better than everyone with no contest.
  • She’s a foster kid and has a traumatic backstory and because of that she has a bunch of walls and is kind of prickly person.
  • She’s the queen bee (who’s also a feminist, a blacklivematter supporter and full of body positivity)
  • She starts fights 25/7 but just convinces Alli to finish them for her.
• Sienna
  • She is the pure.
  • She has never done something wrong ever in her life.
  • Just kidding, she has the traumatic backstory as well but because of it she decided to try to become a kinder, nicer person.
  • Literally everyone would die for her? Even though she could probably kill a man.
  • I love her, you love her, everyone loves her.
• Todd
  • He is my man.
  • He’s a highkey jock but also a highkey nerd.
  • He is the king of being oblivious even though he’s the smart one??? (stop Todd 2k17)
  • Him and Faye are besties and may or may not be dating
  • Todd is kind of a lovable jerk (but people always call him out when he says something offensive or problematic)
  • Todd is just there.
• Random Dude Without A Name
  • The other pure person !!!!!
  • He’s the pretentious english nerd and everyone gives him a hard time for it
  • He’s very charismatic but when you talk to him, he can be the awkward.
  • He is also best friends with Todd (Todd just has a lot of best friends)
  • He’s pretty quiet so people don’t realize the actually amazing person that he is.
  • I love random dude without a name.

I feel really bad because that was just 371 words of me talking about how much I love my characters without giving you any depth #sorrynotsorry

but if you ask me outside of this post I can give you more details and backstory, I’m just trying to avoid the spoilers™ 

setting

Because I decided to write a semi-contemporary I don’t have to world build. It is honestly the best part about this book. I hate worldbuilding and put like zero effort into it so here’s all I have for the setting:

• It takes place in Portland. Because I think Portland is cool.
• They attend a high school. It is an okay high school.

And that’s all I’ve got.

I’m truly a worldbuilding genius.

And here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, an excerpt !!

COPYRIGHT © AMELIE @ SCARYPEAR // DON’T STEAL MY STUFF BECAUSE IT’S RUDE.

She wonders what it is about girls with too much to lose, that draws them to things like this. Things that leave you lost and broken, she thinks as she glances down at her nails, blood and dreams underneath her nails. She’s become the type of girl with blood both on and under her skin.

She’s falling apart from the inside out.

“Ahem,” says a voice, and suddenly she’s back. Back to the table that she’s sitting at with a bulb shining much too brightly in her eyes. She squints, trying to see if she can make out the figure of the man sitting across from her. His smile seems more daunting than it should with the bright light reflecting off of his teeth. She decides she doesn’t like him.

She should be dead.

“Excuse me, miss, I need to you to pay attention. We don’t want this situation spiraling even more out of control.” His voice feels like a million wasps stinging the inside of her mouth. It makes her never want to speak again. Deciding that he dislikes her as much as she dislikes him, she settles back in her chair. Feeling under her chair for something, anything to take her attention off of this man – no, monster, she likes the ring of that. She doesn’t want to be here, not at all. She wants to go back to the beginning, when everything was fine, when looking at her hands didn’t remind her of the sweet whisper of death.

She hates this.

She feels someone grab her hand and instinctively she slaps their hand away. She’s a girl on fire. Burning. She remembers someone once told her that her soul was so bright it was going to make her body wither away. She decides to focus on that instead of the man with pins sticking out of his head. She focuses on the silver pins sticking out of his head, gleaming. He looked like a voodoo doll. She is sick of those. Squinting, she finds that if she focuses enough, she can stick pins in him. One in his shoulder, one in his heart, and one in his head.

She’s withering away.

Her thoughts are jumbled and she knows this. Her hands are shaky and she can’t listen to the man in front of her. She can feel herself withering away, first go her arms, their bloody husks falling to the dirty carpet. Her chest falls apart, next the scratches and bruises looking at home next to her arms. She feels piece by piece as she flakes apart, looking more like pieces from an art collection than a girl.

She’s gone.

This is the opening scene of the book. It features an unnamed character *gasp* who did something horrible. And because I’m vain, here’s another pretty nice thing that I wrote (with no actual connection to the plot or in order with the plot, as usual)

She was everything and nothing. She wanted to tear off her skin and throw it into the flames.

She wanted to be gone.

Her head was a mess of wires, a frenzied fuzz taking over everything. She was crawling. Her skin was alive with the ghost of hands that wandered a bit too far.

She wanted to be gone.

And all at once the fire pits looked appealing and she stumbled a moth, towards the flame. She studied her arm above the flame. It was charred and disintegrating into thin air. She wanted this.

She wanted to be gone.

It would be so easy. Just an accidental trip. No more girl. A charred husk where she had been.

Did she believe in god? She didn’t know but she hoped he was around. Around to save her – but then again could she be saved?

She was just a blemish against the sky – a broken little girl who relied on bruises on her arms to feel alive.

She wanted to be gone.

It would be so easy.

So close.

So quick.

She wanted to be gone.

*finger guns*

So that is basically my entire story and I hope you guys will come help me with my story or tell me about yours in the comments 🙂

Also, by the way guys I’m going to be on vacation until like the end of June so most of these are going to be scheduled posts aka if I’m not responding/commenting on your posts I’m not a horrible person !! I’m just on vacation 🙂

Did you enjoy the excerpts that I shared? What are you doing for Camp Nano? What stories are you currently working on?