Napowrimo

I have decided to participate in Napowrimo in addition to Camp Nano, because I have no idea what I’m doing and even though I have zero ability to commit to anything.

Here are my extremely sucky and cringey poems aka I can’t write at all:

*A note: sorry for never updating I literally don’t even know what free time is anymore

4//10

i’ve never known what struggle is

so

i shouldn’t expect to recognize

it

4//9

 

no thank you

no thank you to everything you’ve ever told me

to every smile

to every speech

no thank you

4//8

i want to write a book of everything i’ve ever felt

every smile

every laugh

every tear

and burn it

4//7

please explain to me

i’m a little too simple and a little too fragile

i don’t know what it means to be whole

4//6

she’s falling apart from the inside out.

she’s withering away.

first go her arms, their bloody husks falling to the dirty carpet.

her chest falls apart

next the scratches and bruises looking at home next to her arms.

she feels piece by piece as she flakes apart

she looks more like pieces from an art collection than a girl.

She’s gone.

4//5

please don’t take my silence for quiet
i have a list of things i say to myself
in the dark when no one’s around to hear
please don’t take my silence for quiet
when i can’t hear a sound
of my own tears

4//4

the waves are a crescendo in her ears

her foot dangles over the edge
she’s sailing
she’s broken
she’s gone

4//3

i want to  carve the words

that i think about myself

into my chest
a display of my lack of affection
for myself

4//2

apathy is a virtue

she tells herself

trying to scrounge up something

somewhere

she pinches her thighs

and covers her face


she rips her jeans

and turns her hair into

a color index


becoming something fake

to find someone

real

her heart is stone

her soul is burnt

all so she won’t feel something

for someone

she’s a prickly cactus

a stray tom cat

whose claws leave scars that won’t seem to heal

she makes herself

larger than life

Louder

Smarter

Prettier

(but is she really?)

she’s lost the little girl

on the inside

that knows how to smile

she pours salt in her wounds

scratches along her hands

screams from the pain

tries to keep her shaking

on the inside

4//1

Time passes

Like it should

But she sits motionless

 

She could

She might

She should

 

But she won’t

 

She weighs her options

As time passes

 

Her skin wrinkles

 

Her eyes glaze

 

But she still

 

Can’t find the effort to
Move

 

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