I have decided to participate in Napowrimo in addition to Camp Nano, because I have no idea what I’m doing and even though I have zero ability to commit to anything.

Here are my extremely sucky and cringey poems aka I can’t write at all:

*A note: sorry for never updating I literally don’t even know what free time is anymore


i’ve never known what struggle is


i shouldn’t expect to recognize




no thank you

no thank you to everything you’ve ever told me

to every smile

to every speech

no thank you


i want to write a book of everything i’ve ever felt

every smile

every laugh

every tear

and burn it


please explain to me

i’m a little too simple and a little too fragile

i don’t know what it means to be whole


she’s falling apart from the inside out.

she’s withering away.

first go her arms, their bloody husks falling to the dirty carpet.

her chest falls apart

next the scratches and bruises looking at home next to her arms.

she feels piece by piece as she flakes apart

she looks more like pieces from an art collection than a girl.

She’s gone.


please don’t take my silence for quiet
i have a list of things i say to myself
in the dark when no one’s around to hear
please don’t take my silence for quiet
when i can’t hear a sound
of my own tears


the waves are a crescendo in her ears

her foot dangles over the edge
she’s sailing
she’s broken
she’s gone


i want to  carve the words

that i think about myself

into my chest
a display of my lack of affection
for myself


apathy is a virtue

she tells herself

trying to scrounge up something


she pinches her thighs

and covers her face

she rips her jeans

and turns her hair into

a color index

becoming something fake

to find someone


her heart is stone

her soul is burnt

all so she won’t feel something

for someone

she’s a prickly cactus

a stray tom cat

whose claws leave scars that won’t seem to heal

she makes herself

larger than life




(but is she really?)

she’s lost the little girl

on the inside

that knows how to smile

she pours salt in her wounds

scratches along her hands

screams from the pain

tries to keep her shaking

on the inside


Time passes

Like it should

But she sits motionless


She could

She might

She should


But she won’t


She weighs her options

As time passes


Her skin wrinkles


Her eyes glaze


But she still


Can’t find the effort to


9 thoughts on “Napowrimo

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